Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Their 3 Awesomely Pathetic Lives

The characters and events mentioned from now on are fictional and purely a figment of my imagination. Any resemblance to real people and real life events is totally unintentional :P

This is the story of 3 young gentlemen. They led their own lives totally unaware of the others existence for the first twenty odd years of their time in the world. Then fate intervened and they had a similar goal in life. Fate intervened again and brought them together in the same I-school. And it was fate again ..... two years down the line when they were picked up for jobs by the same large conglomerate (the-company-which-must-not-be-named). It brought them to the big metropolis of Dumbai, the city of dreams.
Now that they were working at the same place, they decided to rent out a flat (After all the-company-which-must-not-be-named did not provide them accommodation on a long term basis). But finding a place to live in the metropolis of Dumbai was not an easy task, a task made more difficult by the presence of someone else. Yet they managed, with the help of an agent whose extra-terrestrial looks were straight out of the sci-fi movies. But they had a huge falling out with the agent soon after. After being thoroughly abused by Funkaz & Niku, the agent took solace in the comforting words of Deyus.
Oops!!! I forgot to introduce our 3 heroes. So here goes
Niku: The tall fellow with already greying hair. Likes a peaceful, organized and comfortable life for himself. In reality a pretty lazy person. Hated his previous work, so is prepared for anything which the-company-which-must-not-be-named can offer. Takes pride in having amassed a big bank of useless information over the years. Before joining was told by pretty knowing people that his life was going to be hellish and tough. Reality was totally different. Work life (touch wood) has been pretty unlike described earlier.
Funkaz: The taller fellow with already receded hairline. Tries being funny and irritating at the same time with his wisecracks. Has a weird tendency of declaring every girl he sees as his "bhabhi". He had no idea what he was getting into after accepting the offer from the-company-which-must-not-be-named. Fun is something which has certainly gone missing from his life these days.
Deyus: The tallest fellow. Another store house of irrelevant and useless Data on anything and everything under the Sun. Has an unhealthy appetite for the most pathetic Hindi movies. Makes big plans which get scuttled. Orders the most exotically named dish in the menu. Deep inside him lies the desire to dance at friend's weddings. To fulfill this desire he constantly pesters the other two to get married. But so far wisely they have avoided this trap.
The 3 major issues in their lives
1. Increasing waistlines
2. Receding Hairlines
3. Girls (or rather the lack of girls)
Now coming back to their first house. It was with difficulty that they could find a place to live. But eventually they did find an awesome place. A 14th floor creek facing penthouse. in a building named after the third tallest mountain in the world. The view is awesome and rent was quite cheap (compared to other places in the megapolis). So they moved in. Then they learned more of their surroundings. The house had a huge nallah by the side. The lifts occasionally did not work (At those times, our heroes turn into mountaineers). There was an issue with the pigeons of the area too. They (i.e. the pigeons) decided that only birds can have homes at these heights. So they regularly fly in through open windows in the mornings. A pair of owls also have their nest there. Also a huge honeycomb. Now for the people. Now there was a collector in the building too who would keep on asking whether they had paid up for the pujas (even after they had). Another resident is a girl with a big dog who have a habit of terrorizing our heroes in the lift. And there are others too.
Social Life
In the neighborhood, the Purani Dumbai area where they live has 5 malls & 4 multiplexes (at the last count) where our heroes spend their Sundays. So their main social activity consists of going to malls and taking in the sights and scenes the places have to offer. Occasionally they go to movies also. Last movie being "Dostana" (:P). However their lonely and pathetic existence gets brightened up by the visits from fellow I-school mates, who drop in occasionally.
Office Life
Niku: Its awesome as he has got back in touch with some older mates of his.
Funkaz: Gets to hear pearls of the most beautifully phrased and pleasant sounding words in the office. An office which he has made his virtual home.
Deyus: The blue-eyed boy. Takes leaves anytime he wishes and has dealt in billions till now.
The Early DaysIt seemed to Funkaz & Deyus that Niku was known to everybody in Purani Dumbai. According to them he would win any election easily if he decided to contest from the Purani Dumbai area
The Current Pathetic Scenario
Internal communication takes place through Gtalk.
They discuss about the activities of Peter Petrelli and Barney Stinson (for the uninitated, the fictional characters from foreign TV series Zeroes & How I Met Your Father respectively).
Niku has begun pondering over the big issues of life, including his own existence and the meaning of life etc.... (Result of having too much time in his hands). And uses the term pathetic a bit too often to describe their lives.
Deyus is chatting and chatting and chatting and chatting..... (lives in a virtual world more than the real)
Funkaz does'nt get the time to think now. He is very busy with his work.

So this is the the sum total of the current awesomely pathetic existence of our lead trio.

P.S. This blog post was inspired by a friend's post on similar lines.


The-great-one-Himself said...

Pathetic....is the right choice, I must say. However Niku should try to see the brighter side of Dumbai megapolis e.g Kalegaon, Puhu, Sandra, Mandir gate, River drive etc.. Also, it would be great if you can do a little bit more e.g. do something after counting 30 pretty girls coming into your building.

If it doesnt help then you can take a consolation by knowing that there are many pathetic lives going on in other part of the megapolis, which could have been much better....

Peyush said...

We're still waiting for the sequel :D

Peyush said...

Was there a sequel?? :P

Nishant Kumar said...

There was :) http://nishantzworld.blogspot.in/2009/01/awesomely-pathetic-lives-chapter-1.html