MovieNotes: The Expendables 2

Thought about introducing a new section to this block. A section on movie notes. My little post-movie review. So here is the first of the many (hopefully) to come.

The trailer opens with Sylvester Stallone talking about his new movie. Not that it needs any talking about. With a star cast which reads a Who's who of Hollywood's best retired action stars (mostly), it is like any fan's dream come true.

Stallone, Schwarznegger, Willis, Statham, Jet Li, Van Damme, Lundgren and above all Chuck Norris. This lineup doesn't really need any story to carry it. The heavy duty star cast carries the bare minimum plot line successfully.

There are some standout moments even in this action mish-mash. They may have grown old, a little wrinkly, some slower reflexes but they certainly don't lack wit. The best part of the movie is the way these "stars" sportingly parody themselves. Examples

• Chuck Norris sharing a Chuck Norris fact. 
• Willis telling off Arnold on hearing his "I'll be back" to which Arnold replies "Yippie ka yay". 
• Stallone comments that an aircraft belongs to the museum. To which Arnold responds, "So Do We".
• Van Damme's army needs the combined forces of Arnold, Stallone & Willis to be stopped in their sinister designs. (Hence van Damme is the greatest super-villain of all time)
• Liam Hemsworth gets assigned the Mickey Rourke part of the emotional back-story, but is not able to deliver to that extent.

So in short, movie has lots of nostalgia, light on story, fast paced, self-parodying stars and just the touch of humour. It gives the feel of a vintage car rally. A movie made for fans and not for critics. A perfect Sunday morning entertainer.

Looking forward to the next installment. 

Driving Lessons - II

This is in continuation to the previous post on the subject.

I am still to take the wheel. Heavy rains, packed work week and non-availability of slots in the driving schools are to blame. As also my unwillingness to start in my own brand new car. But the lessons from observations continue.

• Lesson#6 - The roads are full of idiots. Specially on two-wheelers. And some on two legs as well. Why do people have the tendency to drift towards the middle of the road when walking? So to avoid any accident, keep pressing the horn as often as you can. Also use all sorts of signals, lights, horns, hands and your voice.
• Lesson#7 - New car, new driver, keep to the left side of the road. Let the faster ones move along the right and centre. Also makes it more easy when you have to take a turning. (Applicable for India and other left-side driving countries)
• Lesson#8 - When driving on a highway, keep a close eye on the turns. If you miss one, the next may not be coming up for quite some distance. And that is not easy on the nerves.
• Lesson#9 - Reiterating. Having an extra pair of eyes help as long as both sets are focussed on the driving. Keep alert for signals, traffic police, other vehicles, road signs. And there is always the fact that company is comforting. (P.S. I am now a certified good navigator). Only condition the co-passenger should be a patient and not easily harried person.
• Lesson#10 - Keep calm. Take care of your own safety. Others will also follow.

Hopefully next post will have experiences from the drivers' seat. And I get the driving school slot.

Driving Lessons

The title of this post has no connect with the movie of the same name. So any one who has wandered here by accident hoping for a movie review may stop reading (or not).

Driving a motorised vehicle is an idea which terrorizes me, for reasons which I am yet to fathom. I have had lessons in driving a 2-wheeler and have done quite a few miles on it but still never went beyond the learning stage. With lack of personal vehicular mobility becoming a minor hindrance in commuting and embarrassing as well, have finally decided to take matters into own hands (rather fingers). Have decided to blog about the issue here. Hoping that putting it on a public forum may finally overcome that unsourced fear.

So the first few learnings which came about, even though I wasn't the one driving are here.

• No point in being embarrassed. Tackle things head on. 
• Do not drive alone at first. Having an extra brain in the vicinity helps.
• Refer the manual. Keep it handy in case of a new car.
• New cars have lots of safety features. Follow them. 
• If a beeper is going on and on, there is some issue. Stop the car and try to find out. Me heard a beeper. Found that it was due to the hand brake being engaged. Disengaged it (Press button, pull up and release). So Lesson #1 - Disenegage hand brake when you start. And keep it engaged when parked.
• Lesson#2 - Try to learn about the millions of buttons which are present all around. The switch for the fuel and rear boot are located near the driver's door.
• Lesson#3 - The power windows come with a child lock. Make sure its ON/OFF as required.
• Lesson#4 - And above all, keep yourself as cool and calm as possible. Rational thinking at all times is the biggest help.
• Lesson#5 - Ask for help. Petrol pumps are a good place.

1st lessons done. More will come as I finally tackle it.

Podcast - London 2012 Review

Last week through a twitter conversation, me and a couple of friends decided to record a podcast reviewing the Indian performance at London 2012. In itself it was a big topic for discussion and we managed to digress from the subject as well, many a time :). It was more like a Saturday evening get-together but only on Skype done over 3 cities (See we are using modern technology to the fullest).

Let me introduce the other participants:

Karthik: http://irreverentlytimed.com/

Ajay: http://ajayallin.blogspot.in/

So this is our first ever podcast experience/experiment. Won't know about any other readers but the three of us certainly had fun recording it.

Here is the link

Karthik was good enough to make an index as well, which I shamelessly copy-paste here.

The podcast is arranged as below in case you need to skip to specific sections:

0:00 Quick thoughts on VVS Laxman’s retirement

1:30 Introduction and twitter handles

4:00 General thoughts on the London 2012 olympics

8:30 India at Olympics 2012 roundup

8:30 Judo, Swimming, Rowing, Weightlifting, Table Tennis

12:45 Analyzing the Hockey and Tennis disappointments (The margin was 16-14 and not 20-18 at Athens)

19:00 Archery and Atheltics

24:15 Badminton

30:30 Boxing

36:30 Shooting

39:15 Wrestling

42:00 The missing gold

45:00 Thoughts on Ajay Maken

47:30 Football, Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and other random thoughts

51:00 Thoughts on India at Rio 2016 and signoff

54:00 Chariots of fire theme outro

We got a neat review as well, from a sports website refusing to publish it citing the following 

"dead air, background noise and a teensy bit of swearing thrown in. Besides not being gripping enough, it's too informal and banter-ish to publish"

So listen at your own risk & Comments & feedback welcome.

India @ 65

15th August is here. Our Independence Day. And also time for me to blog about the state of the nation. An annual tradition which is now going into its 6th edition. (Previous editions are here: 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007).

When I had written the 1st such post back in 2007, the inspiration was the India themed logo on Orkut (Remember the social networking pioneer!). 5 years down the line Orkut has all but disappeared while Facebook and Twitter rule the roost with even "revolutions" being orchestrated through Facebook. A Facebook "Like" is all that  is needed to voice your opinion on topics ranging from Anti-Corruption movement to Sachin Tendulkar's retirement (or not) to Poonam Pandey's clothes (or the lack of them).

Olympics are the flavor of the season. Before Beijing '08, if someone had said India would win 6 medals in a single edition of the Games, the person would have been a fit case for psychitatric help. Now a 6 medal haul has still left people with a sense of slight disappointment. We are not exactly world beaters yet but things have begun to look up (read - increased awareness) for the other (read non-cricket) Indian sports . All that these sports bodies require now is to be stop being the fiefdom of certain politicians and to gain a stronger footing on the world governing council. Lessons to be learnt from BCCI.

India has a new President. Not that it affects anybody's life. The rest of the government stays same, with real power in the " hand" weilding the remote. The day more than half the country suffers a power cut, the minister in charge is promoted to the home ministry. Guess this alone says a lot about the state of our governance. With each passing day, the government finds new and new ways to go lower in the public opinion. How they are surviving remains a continued mystery. Of course, a bungling opposition party helps the case. And as the experience in West Bengal is showing the alternative, if any, to the current regime may be akin to jumping from the pot into the fire. The anti-corruption forces are not helping their own cause by getting distracted through their own nit-pickings. A fit case for a "Dark Knight" rising here but will we get one?

And in general the public is in outrage mode, without bothering about the details. Issue comes up. Lots of air time taken up. Lots of social media outrage. Outrage flounders. Next issue comes up. Cycle repeats. Issue could be anything - high profile crime, violence in a region, corruption, celebrity death, terrorist activity, some comments on Indain culture (?), any random media-generated controversy. Whatever the scale the cycle remains same.

Television had one new offering. It was fresh, it was different and it was a little gut-wrenching. Some harsh truths were presented like never before. Satyamev Jayate did bring something good on the idiot box. Otherwise we have either the "Breaking News" media, the "Paid media" and the increasingly unreal "Reality TV" showing channels.  As for the movie something different is being attempted every few weeks but none are really working.

In general, a dark picture emerging. But we can always hope for a better tomorrow.

Happy Independece Day

Close Encounters of the Corrupt Kind

Background

You need a Sarkaari Document. You research about it on the internet. Find that the necessary items for getting the paper in the due process may not be feasible or are too troublesome to get. In a fix. So you try to use a shortcut i.e. an agent to do your bidding. And the agent takes you for a ride. Guess - Pretty familiar story.

Event

So there was I in a similar situation. A document was required but not very urgently. So thought why not get it made. Having done some research on it, tried to go and get it. But given the conditions and paperwork involved, thought about using an agent to do the job. Unfortunately, dealing with the agent started to prove nearly as cumbersome and painful as the one which was being avoided. Dealing with the agent and an advocat whom the agent had brought in contact was enough to make anyone wish to break their own head. Finally went directly to the government office itself. And found a very helpful person who directed us to the right place, which turned out to be quite different from the one which the agent-advocat duo was sending us to.
Went to the said office. Spoke directly to the person concerned. Most documents were found to be in order. And the government official gave the alternate routes for the remaining ones. Though some persuasion, in the form of few Reserve Bank certifcates helped the cause. The final documentation was put in process and my Sarkaari paper was on the way.

Learnings

• Sarkaari work is not that complicated. If you have the correct documentation.
• Try avoiding agents as much as possible. If nothing else they just increase the corruption index and money involved.
• Do NOT pay the agent any advance. And if you do take a receipt.
• Government officials are helpful. Only try finding the relevant one beforehand.
• A few Reserve Bank certificates can make the system move very rapidly.
• Advocats can lie at your face without even blinking an eye. Probably get the training in college itself?
• Corruption as a form of governance is highly efficient.

The Indian Olympic Dream

This post has been published on Sportskeeda

Cometh the Olympics and an Indian sports fan starts thinking. Are these the breakthrough Games for our sportspersons? Should we have hope for a few medals (not many, 2-3 would suffice). After all given our track record (we have fewer medals (20) than the number of Olympics (24) held), hope becomes a dangerous thing. So dire is our record that we even celebrate our near-misses (e.g PT Usha, Milkha Singh etc.)

Barcelona 92 was the first Games I remember watching. Those were the days when our sole medal hopes resided with the Hockey team. Other sports were being represented only for participation sake. The Indian contingent returned bare handed. Over the course of the next 4 Games (Atlanta, Sydney, Athens and Beijing), the situation changed a bit. Hockey was no longer considered to be our medal hope. And with the team failing to even qualify for Beijing, the once powerful Indian Hockey had reached its nadir. Though the team has qualified for the London Games, no one is expecting any miracles from them.

 

Leander Paes winning the Tennis bronze in Atlanta added a new sport to our Olympics Hopeful list. But the hope hasn't converted into a reality since then. Paes & Bhupathi losing the bronze medal playoff in 2004 was the closest that India has been to a medal. This time there are 7 Indian players in the fray. However, the selection fiasco and the players ego clashes have lead to pretty low expectations from them.

 

Sydney 2000 was the first games were India actually had realistic medal hopes in more than one discipline. Karnam Malleswari winning the Bronze in women's weightlifting added Weightlifting to the Great Indian Olympic Medal Hope category. Over the years since, a series of doping scandals has rocket Indian weightlifting. And hence, there aren't any realistic medal hopes from the 2 weightlifters. Sydney 2000 also announced the arrival of Indian Boxing. Gurcharan Singh lost in the quarter-finals after a very close bout (tied on points) but his exploits probably paved the way for the bigger ones to come in Beijing. The biggest heartbreak was in Hockey with a last minute goal conceded against Poland destroyed our semi-final chances.

 

Jaspal Rana's exploits in the Asian & Commonwealth Games had made Shooting a realistic medal hope. However it was Rajyavardhan Rathore who gave us our 1st ever shooting medal with a silver in Athens. Since then a medal from the Shooters have become a realistic expectation rather than any wishful thinking. Athens saw the heartbreak in Mens Doubles Tennis, while Anju George's leap was just a little short in the Long Jump.

 

Beijing 2008 saw an Indian contingent without Hockey. But this was the Games were the Indian dream started soaring. We had our first ever individual gold through Abhinav Bindra. Bronze medals in Boxing (Vijender) and Wrestling (Sushil) took the tally to 3, the highest ever. It was probably beyond what the normal Indian fan could handle. There were medals but what was more heartening was there were even more performers who were getting close to the medal category. Saina Nehwal in badminton, Akhil & Jitender in Boxing, Gagan Narang in Shooting - the Indian fan was looking forward to more and more medals.

 

Now we are ready for London 2012. What do these Games hold for India? Can we dream of some unprecedented success? Can we have hope of more medals? The answer is yes. Economic analysts from Goldman Sachs have said that India are likely to come up with 5 medals including 2 Golds. If true, then this would be 25% of India's total medal tally till date. Certainly quite an improvement.

 

So where do I think (rather hope) the Indian medals are coming from? Well here are my medal expectations (discipline wise)

• Archery - 2 - Women's Team & Deepika in indiviudal, the Men also have an outside chance
• Athletics - 0 - Krishna Poonia should reach the finals in Discus Throw
• Badminton - 1 - Saina Nehwal in singles has a good chance, others not that realistic
• Boxing - 2 - out of 7 in Men's (Vijender & Shiva Thapa) + 1 - Mary Kom in women's. There could be others as well
• Hockey - 0 - Don't expect the Indian team to go past the Group Stage, could realistically hope for 3rd place in Groups stage at best.
• Shooting - 2 - Gagan Narang & Ronjan Sodhi, though more can be expected from the likes of Bindra & Manavjit Sandhu
• Tennis - 0 - Should have been a great big hope with Men's & Mixed Doubles but given the selection controversies not having much hopes there
• Wrestling - 1 - the flag-bearer Sushil Kumar is the one, the others may also throw up a pleasant surprise or two
• Judo, Rowing, Swimming, Table Tennis, Weightlifting - Nil, No great hopes of anything special though given the level of awareness Indians have about these disciplines, qualification for the Games itself should be considered a big achievement. 

So in summary, a total of 9 medals (give or take a couple) is what I am realistically hoping for.

 

Well as they say, we should hope for the best and if it comes to the worst, we can always quote Baron Pierre de Coubertin and say "Participation is more important than winning" while singing "हम होंगे कामयाब एक दिन"

 

Bombay

Mother of cities to me,

For I was born in her gate,

Between the palms and the sea,

Where the world-end steamers wait.

These are the words used by Kipling to describe his birth-place, the city of Bombay (now known as Mumbai). A city which has been my, well, can't really describe it as my "home", but my place of residence for over four years now. I am no Kipling (or anything even remotely close), but reading these lines today, made me think.

• How do you get attached to a place?
• Is it because you have lived there?
• You have friends there?
• You have fond memories of the place?
• Do you associate it with some of the best events in your life (maybe without having actually lived there)?
• And does the attachment actually take place after you have left the place (Kipling left Bombay at the age of five)?
• Isn't this more a kind of longing than any actual sense of belonging?

Pretty philosophical questions. And I don't know if I should even try answering them. All I know is all these four years of staying in this city , I haven't yet been able to consider Bombay as "home".

Maybe time will bring some change.

A Snaky Encounter

The arrival of rains is a welcome relief from the summer heat. But for a few creatures its just the opposite. Their homes gets flooded and they have no option but to take refuge in unknown areas, where their arrival is certainly not welcome. Had a brief encounter with such a fellow. I am talking about snakes here. Thankfully it was, what can be best described as an uneventful event. 

The snake (a small cobra) had wandered in through the many cable ducts into the office conference room. It was spotted (by a colleague, who raised an alarm). Both managed to scare off each other with no damage being done. More people were brought onto the scene. The captured snake enjoyed its brief moment in the limelight being clicked by all and sundry (yours truly, becoming the official cameraman). Then it was taken away (Where, is another mystery)

Now comes the interesting part. Yours truly successfully caught the snake (in his camera phone). Being a smartphone  user, immediate steps were taken for mass circulation. Photograph mailed around the office colleagues, where the grapevine had already circulated the news of the cobra's presence. Also instagrammed it (without any actual instagramming, if you get what i mean). The instagram connected to the twitter feed, so the picture got circulated further (with a little description). And a couple of hours later, I had a wildlife photographer following my twitter feed. (Interesting!)

Now, I can say, "Urban Wildlife Photography" is my hobby. (Pic below.)

So now the poor cobra has been blogged too (After having been Instagrammed, Tweeted, Mailed & Facebooked)

Time

Time - Why do you keep running away? I have

• unexecuted plans,
• books waiting to be read, 
• movies and TV series downloaded not yet seen,
• ideas for blog posts which do not reach even the draft stage,
• a newspaper which goes into the thrash unread,
• unvisited places,
• all because of time running away

But the battle against time seems forlorn and hopeless, yet to fight it is what makes me human.